How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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