We named our party play list daddy issues
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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