like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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