But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
