My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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