Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize