I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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