Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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