It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
