I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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