Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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