He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
