Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
