It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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