So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
