Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
