the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
