remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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