you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
