how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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