The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize