Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
