She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think my moral compass just broke
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
