you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
