I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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