oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
