Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
