We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
