so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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