he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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