Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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