Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I enjoy the company of your penis
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