I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
