i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
