yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
