i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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