so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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