Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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