i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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