a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
