This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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