You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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