Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
