My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
