At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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