So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
