bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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