My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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