lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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