That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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