i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
