We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize