I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
