So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
