I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
