he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
