Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
