Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
