life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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