You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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